Words to Inspire: In My Weakness

There’s something about weakness that brings you to a place of vulnerability.

It’s where you’re unsure of yourself, confused, or maybe even misunderstood. There are seasons of weakness, maybe even years of weakness that makes us shrink back from who we were created to be. There are so many times when I feel weak, especially when I’m doing something that’s new or unfamiliar, entering new territory, or having difficult conversations.

In fact, I felt weak working on this website. I couldn’t figure out how to format things properly, and I just felt completely defeated. In that moment, I remember praying (really whining) Lord, I don’t know what I’m doing. I need you to help me.

That line couldn’t be more fitting for the season we’re walking through with COVID and the fight for racial equality.

Lord, we don’t know what we’re doing, we need you to help us.

What I’ve found over and over again, is when I ask for help, God always shows up and helps me.

But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.”Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.” 2 Corinthians 12:9-11 (NIV) 

Do you know what I’m not certain of?

Why I wait to ask God for help. Why I go through so many seasons of struggle, so many seasons of trying to figure it out on my own, when I know if I ask, God would help me.

There are times as a mom that I just don’t know what to do when my daughter is being disrespectful. When I don’t know what to do when my son talks back for the hundredth time or slams the door in his sister’s face. Or as a wife, when I’m just so tired that I can’t put up with one more comment that in normal circumstances wasn’t even a big deal but it became a big deal because I was exhausted.

In my weakness, when I reach out and say God please help me, I can’t do this on my own, he shows up every single time.

I remember when I transitioned roles within an organization, I had a lot of Excel reporting that I needed to take on. The funny thing is, I only failed two things in college, the first was mimicking tone in writing, and the second was Excel.

I kept saying to myself, I’m a Pastor, not an analyst. I focus on people, not data. It was a way of explaining away my weakness; my inability to do what I couldn’t possibly do with my limited knowledge.

I love how God uses the things that we’re afraid of, or the things we may have failed at in order to show us His strength. Not only did I struggle with Excel in the beginning, but I hated it. I couldn’t figure out Vlook-up to save my life and I felt like a failure.

I don’t know if you’re anything like me, but have you had moments where you just felt defeated?

In that season, I found myself asking God what are you doing to me? Why would you bring me here only to show me how much I don’t know? You took me from a place that I loved and asked me to step into something new, but it feels like you just left me here by myself . . . in a place where I know no one and am doing everything wrong.

It was in those moments when I cried out to God that he actually helped me in my time of need. When I got honest with Him and vulnerable in His presence, He showed up.

Now, years later, I can do Excel just fine. It was never there to harm me. The season of crushing and pressing was never for my detriment.

It was a season where God was so close, just wanting to show me his power. He wanted to show me how much he loves me and cares about me.

And in your times of weakness, He is close to you as well. He is waiting to show you how much His grace covers your life. You may have never experienced grace at a young age, but I assure you, His grace is all you need. When you call out for his help, for his guidance, for his wisdom, he is faithful to meet you right where you are, and help you get to where he is calling you to go.

Vonae